My sister and I accompanied by our cousins Scout and Megs went out front to smoke one sunny afternoon on Easter at my parents house. My cousins, two of the most questionable people I have ever met, heckled us as we walked exclaiming that we were going to hell because we haven't been "saved"and that they were only telling us this because they cared so much about us. We were being verbally assaulted by the newly saved Born Agains.
Our family grew up basically non-religious. My mother didn't believe in organized religion so she kept us far away from it and the rest of the family just didn't really talk about religion. It was pretty much non-existent in the public forum of our extended family. But now, we pray at every family event, my mother talks about God and Jesus as if they were part of the family. Now it's God this and God that and God God OH MY GOD!!! Me, my sister and my dad are the last survivors of the families "born again" craze.
So once we get out front and light our cigarettes, my sis and I asked poignantly.. So Scout.. How exactly did you find Jesus. He begins his story.
"Me and my girlfriend were on a five day Meth binge in our apartment and out of nowhere BAM! a lightning bolt flew out the sky and hit me it the chest throwing me across the room! At this moment I felt the love of God and Jesus and knew I had been saved!" We look at him with seriously sarcastic judgemental faces shaking our heads. "No, you don't understand! Even my girlfriend saw it! It THREW me across the room! It really happened!!!"
My sister looks at me and I look at my sister with expressions that I cannot even put into words. I know we are thinking the same thing... "Um Scout... you were on a five day Meth binge... do you think you could have been hallucinating just a little bit?! You ARE CRAZY!" We choose to not even argue at this point. As we walk back to the house he get a second earful of how we are going to hell. So Christian of them.
So Scout is the first to be saved by Jesus, My cousin Megs (who has also had a sorted past) follows shortly after and so do my Aunt and Uncle and that entire side of my family. To my disbelief my own mother follows a few years later. Now all you hear about is God this and God that and Jesus blah blah blah! They all moved to Boise which for those who don't know, Boise is to Born Agains as Utah is to Mormons. My mother is now forcing my father to seal the Born Again fate and move to Boise joining the rest of the family. My family has turned into the most judgemental intolerant group of people I have ever met.
All of this from a five day Meth binge and a wild hallucination from our dear cousin Scout.
Meth cunted my family.
CU Next Tuesday!
